i don't know why - #1

My last post was written roughly 24 hours before and my mind is having a totally different thinking capability from then... Feeling a little happy about things that are running in my mind, but not so happy about how things are turning out with certain other... That's why I have started writing these similar posts with the numbered title, 'i don't know why' series when I write about things unclear.

a soul, a mind, a heart, a life...

Caution! Following lines can confuse you badly and can make you doubt my mental balance, Read at your own risk.

I don't know why I am acting stupid again in my life.. Perhaps I am meant to be a tragedy... A tragedy that repeats... Loosing too many things in life but having things that mean nothing much in real at times... There is an emptiness in my life, left by something, some one, perhaps things too many... God must be unfair to call my life a good one... Filled with just memories and making me live in the past with a frozen gaze... God must be unfair.

So very strong yet a life so fragile, dreams that make you but meaningless at times... A tragedy can strike you and it strikes you again when you are at your weakest... A life so fragile.

24 years, People don't understand, god doesn't understand, even I don't understand: who I am.

To be continued in years to come.

Four days since touch down

Its been four days since coming home, quite busy for the past few days and without my mobile internet, finally managed to get it working on my other connection, much busier times ahead....

A brief candle; both ends burning

My dear friend sent me this short poem over today's chat...

Charlie Daniels:

A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last.

written en route to the funeral for his friend, Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

My zune & bose

Its been some time sice I got this personal entertainment combi... I am all smiles about buying the zune & bose head phones..

Zune has a good menu and navigation atleast to me and bose is good for listening @ home where other nises don't ruin your listening, this headphone is not for everyday use but for a good listening experience...

From the pages of cricket history, in the making

A talent wasted is a talent murdered

Its close to three weeks I guess since I started blogging and this is the first post which captures the reason why I started blogging, as i compose this blog I am on my way back home taking my office bus after yet another boring day in office... My life in office is no longer happening or for that matter its lively no more...

Just over two years back my life was all great... I finished my post grads, having a well deserved break before I take up a job... But I was clueless about the fact those were probably the happiest times in
My life for years to come.

Two years later in a job I wake up every morning with memories and dreams of those good old days, when life was careless, when money and thought about future never ruled your life as it is now. I can say I am born smart... Right from school days, I used to show interest and do things that I have not seen in many others kids who were around me, although never scored great results in exams like rest of the smarter crowd I do lot of home work, home work of a different sort... Making interesting things out of what I could find, understanding how things worked beyond my age, questioning things as to why they are the way they are... Even my liking for things uncommon... I was born with this.... I still used to wonder how I was able to understand the automotive engineering in detail when I was just 15 yrs, My source of knowledge was the book titled 'Automotive Mechanics' introduced to be by my brother, an engineer in making then, I feel I am truly gifted to an extent thinking about all good things in life so far... But my thought come down crashing when I think of the reality... The smart kid I was is not smart any more... He has become dyslexic, his mind unwilling to think smart, unwilling to act smart...

Because the mind is no longer fed with urge to do so, instead it all has to do is meet the deadlines, deadlines far more unrealistic from what is possible.... Some half brained guy called manager above me in the corporate hierarchy mismanages things at his best so badly that he ends up ruining every day life of 10 other loyal souls below him, worse screwing up their career, filling their life with so much of disrespect and disgust for any one like him/her.

Next comes the organisation

I was hired for being smart, being able to think and act without much help to get the work done that too with best results, being able to learn and understand things new... Yet of all these one thing is missing, there is no guarantee that my work will be interesting or challenge my intellect, that what I'm setting out to do will keep me happy and reward me mentally.... Although the reward is monetary, money can't buy the former of what we are talking here... The organisation (atleast what I'm working for) just wanted an ass, a smart ass to be precise who can read write and speak on his own... They are not worried about the human element in office as long as money is made... And money is made in truck loads in an industry like mine... This is not what I am destined to be, this is not what I'm going to be...

Two years of my uninteresting caree had gone past..... Let me do something about it, change does not always come over night, but to change something is now or never...

Billa - the movie @ Pune

On the newyear after spending most of the day in office me and my friend decided to go for the newest release (in pune) BILLA... Yesteryear story and this gen remake... Let me give my review.

The movie starts rather slow... One star after another making the entry with no high flying stunts or punch dialogues... Infact the billa doesn't talk in first ten mins!!! Finally he talks and the movie goes into slow mo... So much slow that it becomes a pain, the wardrobe for ajith is a disaster at times, his three day beard and no-style hair doesn't go with ray-bans and designer suits, same goes to billa's ladies nayan and nami... Its not untill the second half they try to smile... We know prabhu did a good job in chandramukhi but making him catch a most wanted man is a bad choice... its hard to accept rehman as an interpol officer...

Me and my friend were so disappointed that we started laughing watching the blunder...

Santhanam is a welcome relief with his down to the street comedy but his inclusion in a story like leaves you confused... If you are a car freak like me you will see, I repeat SEE the likes of mercedes AMG, jag, subaru impreza STi, BMW... moving painfully slow and no style, what a murder.

But all is not lost... Music is of some rescue but inadequate, good experiment with nayanthara's wardrobe and we see kualalampur's beauty occasionally.

In the end... Going to watch the BILLA was like expecting a chicken briyani but served with pasta topped with mayonese!!!! Yet another blunder anchored by ajith.

I wish the remake was done with none other than superstar rajnikanth.